The world is governed by people who believed in themselves, and by people who lost their fear of what other people would say.
Leaders in any field have something in common; they do not care about failure. They are certain that even if there are falls along the way, they have to keep moving forward until they achieve their goal.
Being a confident person it is truly necessary to succeed in any field.
What being a confident means?
“ Confidence means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn’t about feeling superior to others.”..Author
So let’s take a look…
you need to be sure of yourself and your abilities, then, first you need to ask to yourself
What are my abilities? What am I good at it?
Don’t be rude to you, there are no little things here, maybe you are a good singer, dancer, doctor, or maybe you are good with the numbers, advising people, or cleaning your house.
Make a list of all the things you are good at it.
I didn’t say “things that you are the best” surely there’s a lot, but don’t try to keep the list short.
Think in all the times that you have helped someone in something. Or the things that you like to do.
Once you have that list, read it, and slowly read it once again.
Like I said that list of abilities doesn’t need to be the things that you are the best at it.
So that means that you have the opportunity areas to improve.
That’s perfect! it means that we have work from here. and if it wasn’t this way, how boring life would be.
Because have opportunity areas to improve means that we have so many ways to learn and have new experiences.
And that way we are covering the next point.
You are good at some things, but you are not the best at ALL those things.
Let’s talk about it.
I don’t like the phrase “YOU NEED TO BE THE BEST” Omg! It’s okay to be just average! It’s okay to be just good! It’s not the end of the world if I’m not the best at something.
OR at most of things.
I’m not trying to promote mediocre thinking.
We need to look for constant improvement in everything! That’s how life and the world will be a better place. YES
but I’m trying to say that you can’t be the best at everything, and that’s OKAY.
Maybe you are good with numbers but not with letters or at art.
Being realistic with your abilities and capacities will take you to a good place.
You are not better than others.
The others are only different.
We don’t need to be superior to others in any way to be more confident.
That’s a wrong definition of a confident person.
How to be more confident around people
Stop thinking all the people around you are watching you.
Maybe yes, some of them are watching you, but not in the way that you may feel.
You are not that important to people, and you are not the center of everything.
For example, if you are at a reunion, maybe people there are focusing on a game or some other common topic, not on YOU—neither in your big nose nor if your dress and shoes match.
What I mean is that you need to focus on the really important things.
Be sure that you are a person with strong values, emphatic, with a good defined moral and all those things that really matter so other people can find you enjoyable and just a nice person to be around.
Your body and disabilities, if you have them, are not the entire equation of you as a person. And if some people make you feel like that, you should consider changing the people around you.
Some actions you can practice when you feel insecure around people
- Please pay attention to what they are saying. All people love to be heard, so listening to others will improve your presence in front of them.
- Wear clothes and makeup or anything that makes you look more you.
More powerful or fearless. (Even when it’s a superficial layer, it works) If you are more like “I don’t want to wear makeup to feel pretty,” you need to read my guide on how to LOOK beautiful with no makeup.
So, in another way, if you want to wear makeup but don’t feel confident wearing it, keep reading.
How to be more confident wearing makeup
“Wearing makeup gives confidence and makes women feel smarter”-The Science Times
Recent studies affirm that students who wear lipstick went better on some tests than students without lipstick. So, for me, that means that everything is on our minds.
The lipstick doesn’t have the test answers.
Again, you might be able to control how you feel and get results in different areas. (If you think you can’t control how you feel, don’t be afraid to ask for help from experts)
Makeup was invented to wear it!
And wear it as much as you want, girl!
I feel different when I use my everyday makeup look and when I do full glam makeup with false eyelashes.
The point is you are valuable and beautiful no matter what.
Maybe you need some practice with makeup and eventually improve your confidence wearing it!
How to build self-confidence
I do not care what other people think
OMG, this is the best advice that someone ever said.
People are always gonna create their criteria, and they will think things, they can talk about things, they can feel in some way about you or your projects!
But what they THINK or TALK doesn’t define you. Not even a little bit.
Because all people create thoughts from experiences and feelings, maybe someone doesn’t believe in you or in your new project, but only because they have never experienced a motivation to start a project and they can’t find it possible because of THEIR environment. Not yours.
Or maybe they don’t find interest in it, and that’s it.
Imagine if you get all your focus on that person and leave your project/idea/anything, but there are a lot of people looking for the answer or help that you were about to start.
Like I said, other people based their criteria on lived experiences; they don’t live your life, and they don’t know what is in YOUR mind.
Their thoughts may be helpful sometimes as advice, but only when it’s appropriate and requested.
Other than that, keep your mind “what other people think?” free!
Use mistakes as an opportunity
As long as you are human, you will make mistakes, and that’s fine.
It doesn’t have to hurt your confidence. Everyone in the entire world makes mistakes.
What changes from person to person is the way that we handle a mistake.
Some people feel that mistakes are like a failure, and others like an opportunity to grow.
That’s what we want because if we gonna make mistakes for the rest of our lives, we need to focus on improvement.
Now that you can find the area where you were wrong, you are one step closer to success and one step closer to the goal!
The same criteria apply to rejections!
But with rejections, we need to learn how to identify when life is saying that we need to change our way, never give up, just change the way.
But that’s another topic to address.
Celebrate your growth and the growth of others
Even if you feel like it is a really little accomplishment, it is still a sign that you are going forward.
And if you celebrate your growth and the others, you will be around good and positive emotions and attitudes.
A positive attitude draws the line to success as well!
Don’t compare you with others
How can you compare which one is better, a scoop or an elephant? I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is ridiculous as well to compare one person with another.
We all are unique and beautiful in our own way, and we have different qualities and abilities.
Avoid comparing yourself, it’s only a waste on time, time that you can use to self-improvements.
We can compare with others unconsciously, but even when our comparison is used to feel better, it’s empty and worthless.
You are not better; you are just you! and that’s amazing!
Only allow yourself to compare with others when you are in the mindset of growth and celebrate the growth of others.
Set your goals
Visualize where you wanna be, and create a list of all the activities you need to do to achieve your goal.
That way, you will be creating a list of little activities to do on a regular basis to achieve your own goals, and the journey will feel more achievable than only seeking a big one goal.
Not only create a list of your goals but also put the date and time.
Everything changes when you set a date to your goal, it becomes more real inside your mind.
Avoid negative assumptions
I don’t know exactly why, but as humans, we tend to have negative thoughts.
even if we try to be positive, we still think “What is the worst that could happen?”
we are still so dependent on the negative side.
We need to change that mindset and start to invest time positively.
Negative assumptions will barely gonna help us find mistakes and opportunities to improve. It’s just not the right environment to create something new and to find opportunities.
Instead, when you think you are having a negative assumption, try to change it positively.
Maybe you can change the “What is the worst that could happen?” to “What is the best that could happen?”
BE AWARE THAT toxic positivity exist
I don’t mean that. Sometimes negativity it is what it is. And we can just ignore it and fall into the toxic positive that ALSO doesn’t help on improvement.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
We are not perfect in all things, not even good in some others.
It’s totally fine to ask for help from someone who has more expertise.
That’s how the world has been built.
Be confident to ask for something that you don’t know, be kind to others, and share something that you do well.
Be realistic is so important for being confident, we need to trust ourselves and that will happen only with honesty.
If you are troubled by something bigger than you, it’s okay.
Please ask for help from your loved ones or from professionals.
What do you do to boost self-confidence? Feel free to Comment below!